No Friends at Work Please

There is a lot at stake in the workplace, including money, power and prestige. This can make the nicest people turn into back-stabbing politicians, as soon as they step into the office. And that is the reason why you might be wary of making any real friends at work. Being yourself or saying certain things around people in the workplace, can have negative implications for your career. Therefore you tend to be extra cautious with your interactions in the office and work friends are just different from non-work friends.

I have been thinking about this for a while and for me and the friends I make, I think the following things are important:

1) Number of times I see the person

2) Common things/experiences we share (working together, studying together, living in the same building)

3) Amount of Chemistry

4) Amount of Trust

If all the points above are present for a while and in large enough doses, then it typically means I’ll be in touch with the person for a long time (even if points 1 and 2 are no longer met. but as long as conditions 3 and 4 don’t change).

With people at work (at least in a large corporate setting), often points 1 and 2 are present but points 3 and 4 exist to a much lesser degree with most colleagues. Which is why I have made great and long term friends at work but very few.

I thought of writing this post after reading two recent articles, which I wanted to share. The first is the latest Workplace Survey by Robert Half. The survey shows that being cautious with work friends, extends to the online world as well. Here are some of the highlights for Singapore:

• While many Singapore professionals (68%) are happy to connect with their colleagues on social networking websites, nearly 50% have seen social media hurt workplace relationships
• People in Singapore are more concerned about linking up with their bosses online - 49% said they were uncomfortable about connecting with their bosses via professional networking sites, and a bigger 62% via personal networking sites

The second is a post by Penelope Trunk titled ‘Is a work friend a real friend‘. She always writes her posts with a personal touch and includes examples of people in her life (in this case her hairdresser). You should find it an interesting read.