Uncover what people are feeling during a negotiation

The result of research has shown that negotiating is greatly affected by emotions.

If you are unable to read what the other person is feeling and are only able to hear what they are saying, it is very unlikely that you are going to accomplish everything that you could have through the negotiation.

Wheeling and dealing with an experienced negotiator may prove difficult because of his or her ability to mask emotions. Tone, words, expressions, and body language are all carefully chosen. She may seem impassive or natural to the average person observing. On the other hand, if she believes it will assist with advancing personal gain or interest, she may be able to fake emotions rather convincingly.

That being said, there is always a way to read the other person despite her best attempts to keep you from reading them.

According to Kasia Wezowski, from the Center for Body Language, The secret lies in paying attention to all of the spontaneous and involuntary micro expressions that every one of us demonstrates whenever intense emotion is involved. Once you are aware of exactly what it is you are looking for, you will have an automatic window to openly view the feelings of the other person.

You will be happy to hear that this secret isn’t necessarily something you either do or don’t have; it is a practice that you can learn and improve over time. The best way to test how you are progressing is through real life negotiating situations.

Here are some quick tips you may want to keep in mind, to ellicit and observe people’s micro expressions.

The other person’s face should be your focus.

The next time you have a reason to ask a question while involved in a negotiating scenario, spend at least four seconds studying the face of the other person instead of only listening to the words they are saying.

Share a story with the other person.

Negotiators find it easier to hide their emotions while they are doing the talking.

Spend time describing exactly what it is that you want or tell a story to illustrate your points, rather than asking questions that leave you with less to say.

This will provide you with a good window to observe the reactions of your counterpart.

Create several choices for the other person.

Provide them with a list of options.

Then observe their expressions/reactions to the different choices, to see what they do, or do not like.

To learn more about emotions, micro-expressions and consequent success in negotiation as well as other aspects of your career, take a look at this video.